This Time Around

Lets go back,
Dear God,
Lets go back!
Back in time
Though it could take a while
This time to press rewind
And simply find a time
When!-
When I still felt alive.
Yes, it's wrong to have this done,
But I've become a cynical critic
Of what you have become,
And you take my heart out daily
And beat it to death like a drum.
There seems to be no shame, no remorse
No sense for anyone else.
There are other people with their own lives
It's not just you and yourself...

But this May has brought you changes.
Ones you fear you're not ready to face,
But the faith in you that you find in us
Is more than enough to overtake-
Overtake the mistakes
And these 1 minute heartbreaks that we create
In those annoying little habits
Hopefully Time will one day shake.

But I hope the day never comes
When you may finally see
That you'd have been completely better off
Without having ever met me.
Because I'm not the one that wants to change you
But the one who challenges you to do
And to be more than what you want to be
Go past the things you cannot yet see
And become someone better than me.

But until then,
I'm done,
And they've said they're done,
We all seem to be sick now
Of what it is that you've become
Until a time does come when,
These excuses that you've made
And all the expressions that you've faked
Will be coming around
Just slamming the ground
Like a lifelong insult packed into these last few months
What was wrong with who I am now?
What was wrong with who you were back then?
Is it such a fairy tale to think
That I could live those times again?

So tell me a time twisting tale to talk about twice in tough times
Because I'm anesthetized by the beginning of your unwanted reprise
Like a dog on a leash
Just crying to be released
I just bark and yell
Though you never can tell
That I'm just screaming and pleading to go through that door
No,
Not the door to let in the wind
But it's the door that will let us in
Because there's a disease in my heart
That's named after you
An infection of my soul
And I don't know what to do,
And it saddens me
Because.. neither do you.

I feel like an inmate in a penitentiary.
Just waiting for my sentence to be up
Somewhere around the end of this next century
And in this prison, love isnt present here,
None of it seems to be worth it at all, I fear...
And they're just getting sick of your cliche
You never seem to think of what you say
And regrettably,
It's all going to come back as regret one day.

What though can we do?
Please, what can be done?
We've been abiding all this time
But the time to change has come.
And no,
We aren't the same.
I know.

And no,
We aren't the same.
That's good.

And no,
We AREN'T the same...
We both know.
But there's no reason for anger.
There's no point in pain.
There's no sense in giving up.
I'm not doing this again.

The stage in this fiasco is over for me.
The beauty in this art is now terrible.
The curtain on this act has fallen.
Why is this more liberating than awful?
Sad?
Painful and Miserable?

So after this time is what I'm sticking to
There is a decision to be made
And I have to choose
So I'll have to follow up
With my choice to move
Not because I want to
But because I have something I have to prove
That I'm tired of leaving my heart out to lose.
If you want it,
Its yours.
If you don't,
Goodbye, at least for now...

So Dad,
Tell Mom I love her.
And Mom,
Tell Dad you know.
It's time for these difference to take place.
Your son is ready to grow.
I'm finally prepared again to take back my heart
And rob her of what she could know.