Desired Love Unwanted

Here I am.

Here I stand,

A single man, a simple soul.

Here I breathe.

Here I see,

An abounding love, out of control.

There you are.

There you shine,

One of beauty, one so defined.

There you watch.

There you stay,

Unable to love, unable to find.

Here I am.

There I was,

I was waiting, I was wanting.

Here you are.

There you were,

You were disgusted, You were unwilling.

My soul fell.

My heart broke.

Was it lies? You didn't care...

Took for yourself.

Took it all.

Scoffed my love, You weren't fair.

Time has passed.

Time is now,

A new day, wrong dawn, sad future.

One where you cry.

One where I sigh,

And pray you regret your change into this creature.

But,

Here I am.

Here I stand,

A man alone, a soul degraded

Where I long.

Where I wonder,

Waiting for you, My love unfaded...

Redemption

By the edge of the bank,

The wayside of the water,

Memories rehashed

Of times spent in horror..

I speak from my soul,

My heart and my mind

In a painful reviving

Of the sullen, dark time.

Apologies, corrections,

Explanations I'm told

Of the events only rumored

Reanimating sadness so bold..

Then actions spoke out,

Much louder than words,

And I'm born into a place

That's not of this world.

A state where I'm happy,

But sad and confused..

Where I'm free from a burden

Though poised maybe to lose.

Either way in this place,

I won't let it go.

I've waited too long

To let it pass and never know.

It's a tad tainted, but pure.

Truly bittersweet to the core.

The taste of closure

That opens more doors.

So I take off into the night,

Departing for a new home,

Thoughts now born run berserk,

My mind is set widened to roam.

Now my world's upside down.

My split emotions in strife.

These random twists seem abundant

In this chapter of my life.

Pros and cons are my songs

As I now sift through my days

In an odd pleasant confusion

Of new directions and ways..

As the voice of reason echos out

Following desire and wanting more,

When innocent love chimes her song

That we both simply cannot ignore:

"Is this what you want?

Is this what you need?

Is this something inside

That you just want to scream?

To the top of your lungs,

To the top of this earth,

Does the freedom this gives you

Best all other matters of worth?

Does this mean enough to you

To hold on to what you find...

Give hope to this unknown

That it may be one of a kind?"

Is there anything left to believe in?

My God, I hope this is true....

I know what I believe in, but

Somethings cannot be seen through.

So after the choices are made,

Of pathways I choose to take,

I realize I must be aware

These are the decisions I've made.

So this new peaceful confusion

I believe not to be Love's illusion

But rather my Past's evolution

Leading to a new happy conclusion.

Starboard at Starlight.

A small ship is set in the sea..
There's seems to be no movement...
The anchor holds steadfast.

The winds are slow and steady..
The breeze is blowing comfortably...
The scene peaceful and still.

A lone sailor sits at starboard..
The horizon shines in his tired eyes...
Ever-patient, he sits waiting.

His Siren one day may come..
To Her song he finds himself addicted...
But without warning, she left.

He believes in his adventure..
As does the village where he came from...
Their faith may be misplaced.

He is the same but changed..
Stronger now to withhold these waves...
Like the Siren that swims away.

A sailor dies on the deck tonight..
With the waves, the buoys wave farewell...
How long did he wait?

As his spirit fades away at dusk..
He finds her song indirectly on the waves...
Can he grasp back to his body?

Dusk now turns against daylight..
The moon illuminates this sorrow scene...
They may only have till Midnight.

Do we rely now on the Lighthouse..
Did he need more light on the bow to find her...
There was no damage to the wale.

Starlight finds us waiting..
To see his body lying in the dawn...
Ever-patient now the Siren?

But the waves will always pound..
The ship hull moves and tosses about...
But the anchor holds steadfast.

Striving for a Star.

I've seen planets divide

Shooting stars that collide

And places where men have not seen.

I've seen galaxies folding

And black holes closing

But I never can seem to get clean.

Because I want to be shown

Where angels cannot roam

I've given up labor for flavor and lust.

Surpassing what makes people die.

When confused if Life's worth the try.

I've lost all intentions to find someone to trust...

But as time passes on

And the old worlds have gone,

And all these new stars appear;

You can go on forever

Holding my heart as your treasure

Standing guard against all that you fear.

Because I can't explain why,

No matter the manner I try,

The feeling cuts through my heart like a knife,

And no matter how you may cause me pain,

Somehow this fact will still remain,

That I will love you the rest of my life.

So whether we only stay friends

Or together in Life's how we end,

I promise I'm nothing for you to fear...

No matter the pain you may cause,

I know that you have flaws,

So know that I'll always be near.

And I really want you to know,

No matter which way Life may go

I'll never forget how you look, sound, and feel

For the bright colors you've made,

In my life full of grey shade,

Creates a perfect picture that's always real..