Change of Pace

The space where hearts are meant to beat,
Seems to be a cavity behind my lung
Damaged from a time when I tried
Leaving me hollow and undone.

Was I gone that long..
Did I miss that much..
Did that one day come,
When she said she'd had enough..

Did she forget about this..
I know that I never did..
I just wanted us happy,
How did she move on before an end?

I'm alone now and afraid.
I know I can't forget her.
She's happy now and gone.
And now I'm just a loser.

I may never win any medals..
No ribbons nor rewards..
I'm not a winner, but I'll say, 'okay..'
All I wanted was to be is 'yours'.

And if all of this is chaos
Bringing about feast or famine
Remind me just to give up
And handover all things to abandon.

But why is all of this now
For once finally feeling fair..?
I was once just tired of falling;
And simply crashing into air

But now into dark of night
Straight into where I dive,
I betray myself every mile
That I continue to drive.

And now as Bonfire begins to play
Again once more after itself
It reminds me of all the damage
That I've brought upon myself..

But the next that comes to playing
As it seeps in through to my ears
Wells up tears from how she's made me feel
Throughout all the memories of the years...

Mixed feelings in these memories multitude
Hung up proudly in their frames
As though my mind were a hallway
With enough room for theses pictures, it can't contain.

But my smile breaks through stronger,
Than the sun in all its power,
My mind is in the slow lane, but,
My heart blazes by at unclocked miles per hour.

Because there's a future, now, that's out there
One that I just cannot wait to find,
And this time, I cannot be held back,
I simply will not fall behind.

Not on this trail I'm blazing,
Not on this path I walk,
And I won't let myself be bothered
By the Past's misery talk.

So now, c'mon!  Let's run!
We have no time to waste!
There's no need in looking back,
Show me the meaning of haste!

And as the spotlights begin to sweep
Across the cloud filled sky,
My lungs fill faster and even faster,
"May this exhilaration not be a lie!"

So, Night, devour and empower me
To come alive again!
Let Distance shrink into nothingness,
Reviving as a Friend.

And as Daylight tears through Darkness,
And breaks out across the horizon
May I hold her like I never have
Joyful that this Day has finally come.