Catalyst No More

is the way i live not enough for you?
is it an addiction to always try something new?
my life must seem so simple enough
not enough to be what is up to snuff
but was it something that i said
that made you bring these lies to bed
so what did I do?
what would you do?
what should I do?

so tell me, is the way things were before?
what you liked, when knocked out cold and on the floor
these habits made, i cant embrace
demons to me, is what you'd chase.
now these things all come to light
like a haunting killing me in the night
so what did I do?
what would you do?
what should I do?

and the look thats on your face
Is not simply something that i can easily erase
and this uneasy sadness in your tone
is something your lies do not condone
cause soon you'll find tuesday in the mail
and you may realize how fast this fell
so what did I do?
what did I do?
what did I do?


The Fight

It's as if the bells were rung
From the moment I came around
Because ever since I can remember
You knock me down to the ground

Not as if I don't deserve it
I never seem to learn
I get right back up swinging
My Foe is none of my concern

Though now I see its always You
And You always let me swing away
And every time I hit the floor
Until things appear to go my way

This time, You've packed Your punch
You've knocked me completely off my feet
When I thought things were going my way
I taste the blood from missing teeth

I've fought You in all to destruction
I brought it on myself single handedly
I'm knocked out, bent, and broken
My life is sustained only through mercy

What a dull spectrum I am
What a murky creature I've become
How many ways I disrespect Your name
So many offenses cannot be undone

And in the midst of it all, You're here
Standing over me in a weeping stare
I know it though I still continue
You are faithful, though it's unfair

I am dying out on this open ground
Crawling, swinging, bleeding out
Why am I so stubborn against no foe
I am a foolish child beyond all doubt

What a sorry creature I must be
A broken life with a hopeful soul
Only Your essence can correct
Giving life as age into ages roll

I am broken and surrendered!
Bring me to tears and to my knees
Let Your power crash my foundation
Transform me into what You please

Your patience paralyzes my everything 
I'm embarrassed of decisions I've made
Then You take me out of the shadows
And remind me my debt is already paid

My time remaining is simply slipping
And I am purely and utterly next to nothing
So come and save me from myself
Remind me that only then am I anything.