struck.

the night is young
as the clock strikes 1
and here i lay
awake.

nothing is a distraction
from your satisfaction
but i'm afraid this is a
mistake.

i stare at the ground
as i echo your sound
no matter it real or it
fake.

your image is still the link
to sadly making me think
how much more i can
take.

im struck by you somehow
though it matters not now
because what was left in the
wake.

so ill try to stay away
keep what this is at bay
and be happy with what's left to
make.

but how...?
the slightest sight of her sets my soul to screaming and simply steals the stagnant breath straining to survive my exhale..
she leaves simply the stars to shine in the streamless leftovers of space,
the lingering light from the limitless moon..
i walk out.
i look up.
i am breathless.
i am struck.

i close my eyes to the light of Night's lamp,
let the cold take me.
let the dark shake me.
let the memories break me.
let my exhaling breath remind me that
even though you are not mine nor near
i can still breathe.

yet now,
the decisions i've weighed..
with the mistakes i've made...
if i'd only known what was at
stake..

because the price that i pay
that made you walk and not stay...
is the thought that keeps me struck, sad, and wanting to
break.

Ms. Moments, Repair Me.

The cold is outside.
The same's in my room.
The shame's in my soul.
Its a shame through and through.
When I step out to the wind
The chill comes from within
And I've set my eyes to close-
Just for a few moments of Those

Those moments to see her today.
For living this way
Makes a void that will stay
And hoping just can't cure what she could.
All the days I wish I could trade
Because right now I'm afraid
Of the mistakes that we made
Taking up more time than they Should.

'Should' just never seems fit.
Have we waited too long...
(Has Time dealt His cards?)
We've giving Him much way too much credit.
Another day we've gone missing.
I just cannot stand it.
(Does she miss me as well?)
So I'll pick up some pieces and work for a bit.

We have excuses that are stupid..
We are scared and for what..
We all never get it..
Are we all out of luck..
Cause he dances with fire
As she cares for his name.
But how does it all work?
I know it's not just a game.

We figure out people, but no, never ourselves.
We try out new masks, to keep on our shelves.
We display what we want, but never for keeps.
We have a desire inside us, always too weak.

So the life that we live-
Considered only a moment-
Will we spend it in love
Or a long, drug out torment?

No.
I want to make this Moment, one I won't regret;

If it takes starting again, then I won't hesitate.
I've waited these years, too long to forfeit,
Yes, it hurts my pride,
But what good will that do?
If the only thing it does
Is hurt me and you..

Bluebonnet's Sorrow

There's red soaked in the carpet...
There's red on the back wall...
And a grown man is crying
Talking into his last phone call.

"My love, you have left me...
I have no idea what to do...
But you took my heart from me
So I take your sons from you."

The knife was already drawn...
Then slowly with a small yell...
And in that swift moment
All Heaven went to Hell.

It all seemed so fake...
No one really knew...
Until the gunfire was heard
Then we all knew it was true.

It's not just 'life and death'...
Cause that Third story blast...
Will always be the sound
That I'll never quite get past.

The two boys were always playing...
We all saw them running around...
But their laughter was taken
By those loud muzzle shot sounds.

The women all were crying...
The men all swallowed tears...
And when the bags were carried out
It confirmed all our fears.

When man looses love,
It's no rite to take life.
Why take your two sons
When you only lost your wife?

What other shaded colors of ghosts
Can exist in this concrete place?
The execution of young boys
Cannot be easily erased...
It's not just a sad, simple story
That we'll all just "have to face."

May this be a wake up call to us all...
Crimes of Passion, Love, or Treason...
To take the lives of the innocent
Is never a form of justified reason.

Forget It and Rest.

The simple seconds of the day,
Simply seem to slip away..
And every second that I waste
Reminds me of my past mistakes.
But steering clear to cleaner roads
Does nothing, really, but erode.
This single soul I have to sell
That tries to sleep in this empty shell.
My housing flesh I seem to hold
Yet time continues to wax it old.
The growing pains I'll never shake
Until the day the morning breaks.
And I'll be gone to another shore
Where I'll sleep forevermore.
There wasted time will never fade
Because a day cannot be made.
The clock will not tick out an hour
There all time will have no power.

And there,
At home,
I may finally rest...
A place,
Where there's a hope
Where there's a way,
Where there's a place my heart can stay.
Where I can look all in their eyes,
And while I cry, just apologize,
Praying that while I'm away,
There will be a place where I can stay
A place called home
A place called peace
A place were my soul can be released
A haven where I can lay my head,
A place we are all forgiven,
With nothing needing to be said.

A Morning in March

we both think we're right.
we both know we're wrong.
what's the point in our bickering
that goes on so long?

our ways are so different
but we're both so alike
but we fail to understand this
in the middle of our strife.

we both want what's best.
we just want it right now
we're just both not agreeing
to try to figure out how.

i don't have enough patience
you don't quite think things through
we're too busy pointing the finger
instead of realizing what is true.

what's true is that its trifle.
its never worth the mess
we don't learn from our mistakes
to help us avoid all the rest.

we make our own battles
but a war takes its course
and the end always kills us
and then we're dead in remorse.

we do not know each other
thats what rains in on our season
and whenever we are fighting
we don't realize that is the reason

well i know how i am
and i want to know you
and i want you to know
that i am truly thinking this through

the little fights are never worth it.
no, not even ones of this kind
lets please put this behind us
and stop wasting our precious time.

cause when i say i love you
its something thats true
and i dont want to lose you
cause of the things that i do

and the mistakes that we make
will happen from time to time
but i want you realize that i'm yours
and i want you to be mine.

She Is.

She is the crack in the Thunder.
She is the clash of the Storm.
She is the bolero of Fire.
That makes me shake, anticipate, and anxious all at the same time.
She is the image that keeps me awake.
She is the lull that lays my mind to rest.
She is the calm that slows my heart.
That makes me sigh, wonder, and worry all at the same time.
She is the look that stops me in my steps.
She is the touch that paralyzes me whole.
She is the voice that deafens all other sounds.
That makes me weak, stutter, and immobile all at the same time.
She is the taste that makes my mind remember.
She is the smell that makes my soul shiver.
She is the heart that grabs me and won't release.
That makes me unconscious, euphoric, and alive all at the same time.
She is to me what water is to ocean.
She is to me what grass is to the plains.
She is to me what sand is to the beaches.
That makes me what I am by definition, without her being nothing at all.
She is a crash in my head that I never saw coming.
She is a truth in my heart that I pray never lies.
She is an unexpected gift that I don't believe is mine.
That makes me wonder if I should be alive and worried what I would be without her.
She is a blessing that I cannot take for granted.
She is a blessing that I cannot let go of.
She is a blessing that I cannot understand why me.
That makes the future dark, misty, and bright all at the same time.
She is.